The silence is golden-until…

Out. Three small letters that make a HUGE difference in how you describe your sleep the night before. In my case the “out” was excellent until about 4:33 (not to be specific or anything). And then “it” happened.

The silence was broken. Done. Over with. Kaput. And why?

Glad you asked.

Let me say that in the “modern” world we are living in, we expect all sorts of things to be within our control. Our water temperature for baths and showers. The heating or cooling level of our living quarters. If and when we pro-create a child. How much sugar we have or how many commercials we endure on our entertainment mediums. Simple things indeed. But some with complex consequences we don’t fully understand until “it” happens…

And with those simple “expectations” of control we would expect to have TOTAL control over non-animated objects within our grasp. WE control the TV by remote. WE control how fast the car goes or how fast it stops. WE control the mechanical and electrical objects in our lives.

Or do we?

Frigging car alarm. OK – There – I said it! Frigging alarm….  What you say?

That’s right. A car alarm key fob took control of my life last night. Total control. How? Well…IT decided to begin its “death chirp” about 4:33 AM this morning. A    S-L-O-W  “beep-beep” that it decides to send out to pray us humans feed more electrons back into it. A “wheezing” back and forth for more electron air….”beep-beep” every 120 seconds. Did you say 120 seconds? YUP.

And just how do you know that Dave? Because folks like me COUNT the time interval between beeps. No, we just don’t ignore them…we COUNT them in painful sequences until we can’t stand it no more and then we “explode” into action. “WE CAN’T LET THEM HAVE CONTROL!!!”  We silently scream in the night as we stumble into the darkness to terminate the “screams” of the mechanical “evil” stealing our precious sleep.

And I suppose that is where reality meets fantasy. As I found the car alarm remote and took it off the key holder I knew the battle was on. The stupid alarm would NOT let me open it. Yes-IT fought me… So I had to turn on extra lights (at 4:34 by this time) and attempt to pry open the alarm and remove it’s very heart.

Failure..nothing I did enabled me to kill the beast. Finally defeated – I turned to the expert to remove the heart of the screaming beast. “Heather? Sweetie Pie? Would you take the battery out of this for me?”

Whaaaaaaaa?  Whaaaaaaaaat? Or something like that she says as she turns to me with a total what-the-hell look on her face…. There I am. Naked. Holding a key fob in my hand. Whimpering like a beat child and asking – for help removing a battery at 4:35 or so in the morning.

And that folks is how OUR silence was broken this morning…

She killed it. I put it away.

We went back to bed.

Who won? Does it matter? I know the little (expletive insert here) will be back some day to torture us again. Next time I will be ready.

With a hammer…. (grin).

Editor’s note: I have to say it was one of the more unusual ways I’ve been awakened that early in the morning…opening my eyes only to see my car keys dangling in front of my face…I wasn’t quite sure what he was trying to tell me and briefly wondered if I’d angered him somehow…until my ears opened up enough to hear “battery”. He’s now been taught how to take off the battery cover…

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One thought on “The silence is golden-until…

  1. I’d be more worried about the Full Monty Full Moon…

    OSHA will be contacting you shortly to inquire about the possibility of putting someones eye out, or worse them not being able to delete that image from their memory fast enough.

    Normally you paint a pretty picture, well in this case not so much.

    brighter note: The Tea Party now has a new poster child.

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