Near Edge Death

Screeeeeeeaaaaach!!! The tires go, as Heather whips the van to the left away from the 600 foot cliff drop to the bottom of the lake. “What are you doing?” Dave screams as the veins pop of of his neck and forehead. He flails his arms around in he vehicle with disgust and sheer disappointment. “No” Heather says – Not gonna do it. Period.

“But why?” Dave asks. Why indeed? The target was in the path. There – just waiting to meet the big rodent in the sky. An easy “kill” if I ever saw one. But Heather had a weak moment. She simply choose to not maneuver the mouse killing machine from the center of the road into and over the screaming mouse. It was a simple procedure. Accelerate, plot a trajectory to the target, adjust for wind, speed, elevation gain (we were going uphill at the time) and make contact.

“Why, why, why?” Dave screams… “Why do you not want to kill the enemy?”

Heather remains silent for a moment and continues the drive up the cliff edge and down the road. “Because it was cute.” She states in a matter-of-fact tone. “AND, I would prefer to not go over the metal railing on the edge of the road and down to the lake 600 feet below.”

“What?” In unbelief Dave stares at her lack of will – or in this case lack of wheel. “I would have.” He makes clear. “I definitely would have taken the chance to kill that scum bag and make it a hero for all mice to emulate.”

Dave knows this battle was lost again… But he knows the scum bag will appear again and he hopes HE will be driving the killing machine the next time.

Damn the torpedoes and damn the retainer wall: The mouse will die!!!

As the van passed the horrible beast on the side of the road it looked relieved and traumatized at the same time. Sort of like this:


Frickin mouse… Never enough dead ones.

Then Heather reminds Dave of the deer that jumped the fence last week and slammed into the front of the truck we were riding in. “Did you not get enough blood and death last week with the deer?” she asks.

“Never.” “Never EVER enough body count…” Dave mumbles to himself as he closes his eyes and visualizes the eyes popping out of the mouse just before the tire causes his head to explode. 

Strong mind, strong body, strong driving skills – THAT’S what you need to kill a disease on the earth! The thinks to himself as he closes his eyes and leans back into his seat planning his future attack.

“I’ll be back…” he mumbles as he smiles and looks out the window.



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