Critter Attack

Done. It’s finished. We won. (Finally)

After a hard day of planning, the mouse assault team decided the traditional “frontal” attack coupled with a special tasty tactical treat would do the trick based on previous engagements.

Add one part mouse trap, one part apple slice, one part honey drip: load all onto mouse termination device and engage the termination set spring. Position at last known travel point of target rodent carbon life form.

Wait…wait…wait for it.

W A I T…. Too much waiting… CRAP

Remove device from frontal assault area to rear echelon inspection area for closer inspection.


Failure: Complete inspection of termination device indicates failure. Closer inspection indicates incorrect position of the neck snapping release bar. Release bar was “locked” into place. With the bar locked the neck snapping release spring can not engage the target. Bait gone. Mouse “poo” on trap. (Crap from mouse indicates hostility).

Enemy life form has the tactical advantage at this point.

Morale low…

Reload the device, reset the locking bar to correct position and wait.

Wait, wait, wait for it…

S N A P!

Failure – assessment: Location of termination device not compatible with existing architecture. (Put it in the wrong place and it hit a wall when activated).

Solution – Relocation of termination device to area where activated spring device will fully engage the neck snapping bar to maximum velocity.

Done…. Wait, wait, wait for it.

S N A P!

Houston: We have the target.

Validate target is no longer a self-sustaining carbon life form:


Status: Complete termination.

After action report indicates termination device is fully operational and meets minimum mouse termination requirements… Reload and reposition – continue scanning for other rodent carbon life forms.


Wait, wait, wait for it…

(To be continued)?

Please note: graphic was included here but PETA objected.

Screw PETA:


9 thoughts on “Critter Attack

  1. ok, there’s something new out there called sticky traps!! But somehow I think this was more fun for you!!
    I love to wake up reading your posts! makes my day start out great!! with a smile! thanks !! stay well!! see you soon!

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